My Little Girl's All Grown Up | Starting School | Me Becoming Mum

Starting school is a big step, and I can't quite believe that my eldest daughter, my first born, my precious rainbow baby, is old enough to be starting this September. I remember helping a family friend's daughter with her tuition assignments when her mum organised a tutor to provide extra support after school, and now I will be supporting and helping my own child with school and homework. It feels slightly ridiculously surreal. In some ways I can't wait, and in others I am terrified... and here's why.

I'm terrified because... It's a journey into the unknown.

Although she has been in preschool, Squidgy has never really been away from me for more than a few hours at a time and it's really hard to think she will be away for most of the day, five days away.

I'm excited because... She's going to be away for most of the day, five days a week.

Quite contrary to the above, I'm also excited that I will have more than three hours a day with just one little person bugging me instead of two. Chances are I will be able to get more done, be able to work a bit more and not be stuck watching Peppa Pig from dawn until dusk. Hallelujah!

I'm terrified because... It is one more milestone passing by in the blink of an eye and she's growing up way too fast.

I swear it was only yesterday she was a babe at my breast doing nothing but eat, poop, sleep (sometimes) and keep my up all hours of the night. Suddenly she's starting school and I feel like the past four and a half years have just gone too quickly... I've blinked at some point and she's a grown up girl instead of my little baby.

I'm excited because... She's growing up so fast and is turning into a wonderful little lady that I am so proud of.

Although it is bittersweet to see her change, grow and become a little lady rather than my baby, I am so proud of her. She is polite, well mannered, and articulate. She is the best big sister and is so kind and caring to everyone, much older than her years in her compassion and love for others. I couldn't be prouder of her amazing personality even if sometimes she drives me round the bend!

I'm terrified because... school changes you.

The freedom of being outside all the time that she currently has is such a wonderful learning environment, and I am scared of the change that she will have to face in the more structured environment of a school classroom. We have discussed home schooling as an option, which we will revisit if Squidgy does have any issues with settling into school but for now I will have to squash my reservations and pray she continues to be the carefree lover of the outdoors and free spirit she is at the moment in spite of school structures.

I'm excited because... school gives you so many new opportunities.

Whether it's being away from family and being able to spread your wings, or simply the fact the curriculum covers a wide variety of lessons that lead to amazing trips and fun school brings new opportunities to grow, learn and become a better, independent version of yourself away from your family.

Whatever happens I know that Squidgy is likely to love school just as she has enjoyed preschool and the routine will do us all good, as will the walk we will do; as she will be attending a local school within walking distance of our home. Here's hoping the excitement wins out, and we all enjoy it even though I'm sure I will miss her the second she goes through the school gates!